Advice from someone who was the person that your ex moved onto so fast
Anyone who goes through a breakup and has to see their ex move on so quickly will know the feeling of being sick and numb from the hurt that this causes. I can tell you some truths about being in this next relationship that your ex jumped into, as I have just come out of one of these relationships.
My ex and I got together after he had broken up with his ex just 5 weeks before. We were in the same friend group for a few months but never close friends, and one night we ended up kissing. Immediately after this night he deleted all of his dating apps, told all of his flings he was seeing someone and was fully invested in pursuing things with me. After about 2 months of dating and talking he asked me to be his girlfriend. For a year and a half the relationship was perfect, we never had arguments and seemed to be extremely in love with each other.
Then suddenly everything changed, he started acting very resentful towards me anytime he got drunk. He seemed less and less interested in spending time with me, he would ignore my calls, go to sleep without ever saying goodnight and never supported my achievements or low moments. I continually questioned if his feelings were still the same and even tried to break up with him after a few arguments and he always begged for me back and said I was his person and the love of his life. Eventually when his behaviour didn’t change I broke up with him for good and blocked him on everything.
He reached out to me through email to apologise and wish me well, and I ended up asking him if we could fix things to which he said no. He admitted that he had in fact fell out of love with me over these last few months and said he wanted to be single and didn’t want to be committed. This has made me realise so many things.
He jumped straight into a relationship with me because he hadn’t learned after his last breakup how to be alone and he needed that connection.
He wasn’t honest about his feelings with me because he wasn’t ready to leave as he was still scared of being alone.
Even when I broke up with him and he apparently wanted to be single all this time, he begged for me back because it wasn’t on his terms and he doesn’t know how to cope with being on his own.
He didn’t get into a relationship with me because he fell madly in love with me and was completely over his ex, it was because he craves that attachment.
The only reason he was able to say no when I wanted to fix things is because I had forced him to be alone for two weeks by blocking him and he has realised that he doesn’t like commitment. I doubt it will last and I fully expect him to not work on his problems and jump into another relationship in a few weeks and I know it has nothing to do with me as a person. It’s his issues.
All of these people who jump into new relationships one after the other are just self sabotaging and avoiding their issues by not dealing with them. They go through attachments until they get bored and move on because nothing they enter into has real foundation to be substantial. Do not take it personally when your ex does this after your breakup. There is no problems with you and the problem wasn’t even with your relationship. The issue is them and until they fix it every relationship they have will be the same. All of my ex’s relationships have lasted the same length of time give or take a couple of months, and I know now that I’m not with him anymore that there is a reason for that. Let them move on and continue to waste their own time, while you heal and recognise it’s not your fault and that it doesn’t mean you weren’t enough. You were too good for them and they know they cannot sustain the emotional depth you offer and they get scared. That’s why they run away, because they deserve less.